Update on the Christina Aguilera ‘Oh Mother’ email

We just got back from our trip to see family. I wondered if the subject of the email I sent would come up and eventually it did.

I saw my brother and his wife and their little son. My brother and his family flew into another city and drove to where we live. They spent two days where we live and then we all drove over to visit my elderly parents and my other 43-year-old brother, who lives with them. (That is a story on its own.)

It was nice to get together again; my parents haven’t seen the baby since he was two weeks old and now he’s ten months of age. My parents are not doing too well health-wise. They try to keep getting out for religious activities, which is very important in their life. Other than that, they stay in because of bad health. They are both diabetic and they don’t feel good almost all of the time I would say.

It is weird being at my parents’ house with my brother. After all of the stuff that went on in our past and how my brother reacted and still reacts to tension and stuff with the family. That was kind of the point of why I sent the email to him with the song ‘Oh Mother’, which I discuss here.

During the family visit, we were sitting around talking and my sister-in-law brought up the email. She says that she and my brother listened to the song from the email and it sounded good. That is great but not really the point of the email. Then she said my brother wondered if Christina Aguilera even wrote the song “Oh Mother”, which I think she did.  (I am not sure of that and I did not check any facts but in the conversation with my sister-in-law, I said I think she writes all of her own music).  I know she comes from an abusive household and I didn’t know right then if she did write the song. It was like that was going to make or break the idea that I sent the email and what it really meant.  This whole thing had deep meaning for me and the song has deep meaning too.

I imagined my brother would get the email from me, listen to the song ‘Oh Mother’ about abuse, and read the lyrics. I thought he would feel something while he did so; possibly relating to his past in an abusive family. I guess I was imagining things would go like that. I thought maybe he would get reflective and think about something from our childhood while he read the lyrics. But instead, it sounded like they listened to it together, which is fine, and nothing much really went on for him. He just thought it was dumb that Christina A. would sing a song that he thought someone else probably wrote. The whole point seems to have been lost on them. Oh well, it was just something I thought about at the time and I didn’t really expect him to ‘get’ where I was coming from anyway.

My brother goes his own way, which he made clear a long time ago. He changed his last name 12 years ago to the town he was born in. That is a pretty clear indicator that he has issues. He wanted to denounce most anything he could about his background. But some things are still important to him and he still talks about things from his past every once in a while. His past is how he relates to things now and his future. He doesn’t realize how much that is true. At any given point in time, he’ll decide he is going to ignore a family member for whatever his reasons are. He just cuts people out of his life if they are not someone he seems to need at the time. He has always been non-committal about stuff like where he lived and what car he drove. It was like he was always looking for the next best thing and he could not find happiness. A lot of people are probably like that and we might all relate to it in some way. I think we should be true to who we are-our way of life-and not cut family members off. I have never believed that cutting family off is a solution.

He can think I am weird, but I am trying to cope with my past, present and future just like a lot of people out there. I just want to try to have a positive outlook on what is best for my family and myself. I have to stick to my way of life and what is right for my family. Maybe he feels he is sticking to his too. I guess there will be a divide in there and I am getting more and more ok with that as time goes by.


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This work is licensed under a
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SM 12.31.07

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~ by coffeebreath on December 31, 2007.

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