A Movie, Friends and Lessons Learned

This was written by ‘coffeebreath’ on coffeebreath.wordpress. com and no other. This blog has been hijacked by anyone who portrays themselves otherwise. If you see abuse, you can report it, which will be appreciated. Sorry about you having to read that.

Creative Commons LicenseLast night we went to see the Dr. Seuss movie, “Horton Hears a Who” with some friends. The movie was very nice, I liked the moral and the kids all seemed to enjoy the movie as well.

Our plans seemed to work out nicely. I do not know this friend too well yet but she is quite nice and very funny. You know how when you are getting to know another mom and it is not just a simple “play date” arrangement but you are actually friends with this person? You want things to go well. You would like your children to have things in common with the other children, you would like to be friends with the other mom, etc. Well things are going along fine with the other mom and we get along well and everything. We laugh together and we are friends.

Just last weekend we were all together at another friends’ house for dinner. I looked in from the dining room table to where the kids were all playing together. My two boys, who are beyond mild by most people’s standards, were being thrown about the room by my friend’s son. He was spinning them in a circle, wrestling style, and then sorta friendly-like slamming them onto the couch. My friend was in the kitchen talking and sipping on her red wine and helping with the dishes. I was talking at the table and I know the whole “boys will be boys” thing, I have heard that said, but I was a little bit uncomfortable.

My sons were smiling and seemed to be having fun. I did not want to make a big deal out of what could have been nothing, so I went back to the conversation; everyone at the table could see and hear the kids ‘playing’. I did not want to overreact and I am not good in social situations anyway.

So a few minutes later the same boy spins around and intentionally slaps his own sister across the face. She turns and looks, horrified, toward the table, where her mom was now sitting. I got chills from that. The mom saw that and did not even respond to it. I know she had to have seen and I think my stomach turned. What could that have been about and what was the mom thinking? The little boy is not disabled or anything and there is nothing wrong with him that could have explained that away. I tapped my husband after this incident and whispered something to him when it was appropriate. He said to give it time (my husband is REAL patient). I guess it is always better to let stuff wait itself out. Ok, hm, sounds good hon. He is a lot better in social situations than I am, you could say. He is the mild one in the relationship, see.

Just so you know, my kids are raised a little differently than most. They are not exposed to much and most people say they are really well behaved. They get along well with each other; they say they are each other’s best friend. We do not watch violent movies and we still do not let them go to PG-13 movies or things that we do not deem appropriate for their viewing. We do not even have TV in our home (mostly because we view it as a time waster) but we are careful with what they watch in general. Mine are still small children and they have a childhood left to enjoy, so why not enjoy some of their innocence still?

So back to the movie last night. The boy I mentioned is sitting next to him during the movie. My son started to cry during one part of the movie because it was particularly tragic. My friend’s son tapped his mom and says real loud “Mom…Mom! He’s crying…” I was embarrassed for my son cuz I could hear the boy on the other side of my son. I was sitting next to my son so I told him it was not a big deal. He seemed like he was alright. But my friend did not say a word to her son, and she could clearly see that my son was really into the movie and emotional. I guess her son is past it and is now emotionally calloused.

Hey kid, give my son a moment while he gets himself together, he’s just a kid and he paid for his ticket too, let him be ‘into’ the movie for a minute. Let him have his childhood; don’t rob him of it. Everyone tries to rob kids of their childhood…why should another little kid rob my kid of his too?

My son is young, he is innocent. He was all about the movie and if he felt like crying he should have been able to. I want the kind of kid that can cry in a movie if he wants to. The kind of child that is still tender enough to cry is fine with me – how many can there be left I wonder – not many. Not a violent kid that flails others around against their will or slaps his sister in the face. My kids have never slapped each other in the face and would never do that; they are not those kind of kids (I am not just a clued-out parent) they are not raised that way. I just think that pointing out a kid for crying isn’t cool and being violent doesn’t make you a better person. I am very proud of my sons.

We are still new on our friendship with this other family. My husband says to give the other boy time and see what is going on. My husband is right, he always is. I think my husband is so smart. So I will do just that; I will give it time. I just wonder why I have seen a few times where my friend, the mom, stands by and just lets things happen. I do not understand. But her husband has a very strong personality and there could be more to that than I understand as well, so again my husband is wise to say what he does. There is yet another reason why I love him; he is the best.

Creative Commons License

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License. SM 3.22.08 @ 15:13

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~ by coffeebreath on March 22, 2008.

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